Cause I'm Standing Over the Edge
by LittleSunset264
Summary: There were times that Kedamono considered leaving. He really wanted to leave for how horrible Popee was, but yet he couldn't bring himself to leave. He wondered why he couldn't help but stay. (Popee The Performer fanfic. One-shot.)


He looked around him.

Popee didn't seem to be around. Not a single area in the circus was he visible to the naked eye. He wanted to see if he was asleep in his tent, but he didn't wish to disturb him if he was.

His attention then went to off into the desert around them. Right now, he could get up, run, and never turn back, leave this madman of a circus. Better yet, he could kill Popee in his sleep for all the times he did shit to him.

That sounded nice, grabbing a knife and running it down his skin, cutting his body open and letting him bleed to death if he didn't go to stab him first. Make sure he was strapped down, unable to escape, and he'd be perfectly fine doing that without him trying to murder him for trying to do that to the bunny suited performer.

He'd see the blood drip down from his arm, or any other part of his body. It'd be satisfying watching it fall to the ground below them. Watching him bleed out would be a slow death, but that would probably be great and painful otherwise.

Maybe throw a bomb at the tent and watch him go out with an explosion. Get some chicken and he'd be good enough to watch his tent go up in flames. He would enjoy it as if it was a firework show. He would probably need to be far away from the explosion in case if it was huge.

Maybe set him on fire, watching him burn to ashes. He might try to kill him for it, but if he was dead at the end of it, it'd be worth it. The only possible downside was that Popee might bring him along to his demise. Other than that, it sounded good to him. All of that made him smirk a little. There were more ways he could kill him, but even just those three ways were good enough for him.

Every little thought he had seemed great to do, yet every time he could never bring himself to actually do it. It was as if he needed him to be alive. It was possible that he did, but he could never figure out why.

Popee treated him like he was jack shit to him for the most part. There wasn't a point in staying around with an asshole with a real short temper like him. No point in being around with someone who could easily kill him in no time.

The only option he could go with right now is get out. Popee and Papi were sleeping, so nobody could see or hear him do anything. He wasn't exactly asleep yet because his thoughts kept him up for a little while. All he knew was that the moon was near the highest it could be at.

Quietly, he got up from the chair he was sitting in. The wolf tip-toed to the exit. He was more than ready to run the hell out of there. He would be able to leave everything behind and start anew somewhere else that wasn't here. He wouldn't have a single chance of dying because of anyone around him. He wouldn't have to fear every day of his life once he's completely out of there.

When he put his foot out of the circus, he stopped halfway. He then looked back at the tent Popee slept in. He didn't know why, but he felt bad for almost leaving. He couldn't just... Leave him. There wasn't a reason that Kedamono should care about him. Yet, he did care about him. He couldn't just leave him like this. Even if his temper was terribly awful, he cared about the wolf like he did with Popee.

As shitty as he was, there were multiple instances where he was genuinely kind to him. He didn't let his short temper get in the way at times. It was actually nice, well excluding Papi sometimes ruining things.

There were times he actually made him some food and it wasn't poisoned. No bad intent was there and he just wanted to be kind to him. While he was cautious in taking the first bite most of the time, he enjoyed the food he made. Chicken was still his go-to meal, though.

Sometimes he'd even comfort Kedamono when he needed it emotionally. He didn't open up all the time to him about his problems, as they were extremely personal, but he did what he could at times.

Even if Popee would be there for him at times, he didn't want to disturb him when he was pissed off to no end.

But then again, he made him do shit he didn't want to do. Be target practice when he was throwing knives at him, which resulted in him getting killed multiple times, get sawed in half, and many more things on the list.

Yet, he wished to stay here besides wanting to leave.

He smacked himself in the head and silently laughed. How was it that he wanted to stick around a guy like him yet wanted to say 'fuck it' and leave? It was like in a way, he felt bad for him. Kedamono couldn't live without him, and he couldn't live without him.

They'd both go insane and feel lonely without one another. They'd miss each other the minute either one was gone, as if they were gone for eternity. It would feel nice for a moment, but it wouldn't last long. They'd ultimately want each other back in their lives in almost no time at all.

He supposed that in a way, he felt bad for him as well. Even if every day was awful with him chasing around wanting to kill him for something, they had their good moments too.

No matter what, he couldn't leave even if he wanted to.

He turned around and walk back to his little television that he had. Kedamono took his time going back. There wasn't a rush or anything. On the way back, he began to both laugh and cry.

He wanted to know why he cared about him so much. There wasn't a reason he could pin point exactly why. The wolf supposed that he just did. An explanation might not had been needed. Either way, he accepted the fact that he did. He'll stay here even if it was just begging for his death.

Kedamono grabbed his chicken bucket as he sat down. Proceeding to watch his alien show on the T.V., he ate the chicken he had. Might as well eat and watch until he fell asleep, or something.

Anything sounded good right about now.

* * *

Popee watched him from the tent he was in.

He saw how he was gonna leave. On the inside, he felt a mixture of blissful that he'd finally leave and miserable that he was. He saw how he came back, making him feel more joyous than anything.

He would've done something before, but he wanted to see what the blue wolf was gonna do without him interrupting him. Now, he had seen almost all of it. Kedamono didn't even notice how he was being watched the entire time, too.

The performer couldn't understand it. Kedamono hated all of the shit he had done, yet in the end he decided to stay. The only guesses he had were either he cared too much, he was afraid, or both. Then again, what would he know?

He wasn't the masked wolf himself, so he wouldn't know exactly why he stayed. It didn't make him less glad he stayed though. As much as he hated how his temper can get in the way at times, he wanted him to stay so badly.

Looking at him closely, he just now realized there were tears streaming down his face. He would go to him, but he decided to let him cry it out for now. He could go hug him later. Besides, he might want to be alone right now, so he didn't bother at this current moment.

He slowly removed his hand and let the open part conceal the inside. A bit of light still came through the tent. Popee went to the mirror he had next to his bed. He laid his hands on the dresser it was on. He was hesitant to look at his reflection. Despite that, he looked up anyways.

The glass glistened, but it wasn't terribly too bright where he had to look away. He was able to see a bit of himself instead of it being almost completely black. His blonde hair was messy, even in the pigtails he put them in.

It might've been because of how dark it was, so he couldn't see properly, but his eyes seemed empty as if there wasn't anything there to see. He stared at himself in the eyes, as if he needed to find something in there. It was like he wanted to prove his eyes weren't as empty or soulless.

Popee's reflection was a punchable one. He was sure everybody would think so. Then again, he might just have a punchable face in general. He was ready to punch the mirror, but he decided to leave it be despite the temptation for it. Instead, he clenched them.

He looked away and laid back onto his bed, lying on his left side. He wouldn't have been surprised if Kedamono actually left. He wouldn't blame him. He was very much a piece of shit that he was surprise anybody even stuck with him for awhile now.

For now, he decided to stay there for a bit. If he didn't fall asleep now, he'll do something for Kedamono. He deserved it after all this time. Popee started to hope nothing bad goes wrong later, whether it'd be because of him, Papi, or both.

He grabbed the thin sheet and pulled it over him. It was actually pretty chilly that night. The most he was wearing was a thin, sleeveless white shirt and congo pink shorts, so he was most likely gonna feel a bit cold. It was better he was wearing thin clothing with how hot it normally was though.

Popee held onto the sheet tight. His eye lids were beginning to feel heavy. Well, he tried to stay up as much as he could. He wasn't going to fight it. He needed his sleep anyways, and so did Kedamono.

He'll try to figure everything out in the morning. If he didn't blow a fuse, anyways, since he could never know what could happen the next day.

He felt a tear go down his face. He wiped it away. Popee definitely needed to sleep; he was so tired that his eyes were becoming watery. He hated it when that happens, especially when he was around anybody else.

After he wiped whatever tears were there, he closed his eyes and began drifting to sleep.

* * *

A/N: I haven't seen the series in a bit, so if I messed something up then I apologize. I saw how there wasn't much for this series, at least not on here, so I thought I'd give my contribution for this anime even if it wasn't really anything too spectacular.

And again, my editor isn't here to edit with this again since I figured she rather not proofread something like this. Not exactly a fan of something that's in the beginning with like the ways Kedamono could've killed him and whatever, so I didn't want her to go through with that. So because of that, I apologize if it's not too good or anything.

Originally this was gonna be completely inspired by the song Suicide by Cathy Dennis, but then it somehow drifted off to somewhere else so it probably wouldn't be too obvious at first. Or at all, but I tried. Same with it being angsty, probably not as angsty as I want it to be, but I tried.


End file.
